Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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