her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
