He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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