You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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