Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
