Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
