I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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