he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
