based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
