I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
