OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize