She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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