just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize