I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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