She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize