google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
