so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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