At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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