Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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