I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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