Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
