we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This baby is an asshole
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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