She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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