the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
