It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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