and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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