Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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