he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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