Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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