I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
