he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have tasted many bathrooms
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