Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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