I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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