So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
