He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
