This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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