awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
