I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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