Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
