Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
