i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
