Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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