I seem to have left my pride at pride
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
