I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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