I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize