from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
