There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
