Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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