would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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