That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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