Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
