hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
