you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
