I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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