Will you blow on my dice?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
