Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
