i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize