He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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