On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
