he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
