Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
