I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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