Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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