No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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