So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need to calm my uterus...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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