I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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