i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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