Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
