haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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