singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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